FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS

FOR FUTURE AND NEW DOG OWNERS: Some general things to know about dogs and dog ownership.

1. Dogs don't understand English. If you ask a dog to do something you have never asked him to do before he will undoubtedly look at you with his head cocked to one side wondering what on earth are you saying. You have to show the dog what you want him to do, not tell him. Puppies don't know what "no" means, so when you say it, you are the one who isn't getting it, not the dog. You have to specifically point out to the puppy/dog what you are asking it to do.

2. Dogs are dogs, not human beings. They should eat dog food not burritos or cat food or fish food. DOG FOOD. They don't have to sleep on your bed and sit on the couch if you don't want them to. They are fine on the floor. They are dogs. They drink water, not beer or any other alcoholic beverage for that matter. They don't eat candy and clothing is optional.

3. Dogs are not objects and should not be sold as such. You buy shoes at the mall, not dogs. Any establishment selling puppies in tiny little cages is probably getting them from a puppy mill. You want to avoid getting puppies that are the product of a puppy mills because you are promoting the mass production of dogs and inhumane treatment of their parents. In addition, your overly expensive supposedly pure bred pup that you are financing for $50 per month could have health problems due to the manner and conditions in which it was bred. Instead, try to buy from a reputable breeder, which will ironically cost you about the same as the pet store. Better yet, you can rescue a dog from your local shelter or rescue group. Petfinder.com is a good place to start if you are looking to adopt, and yes they have puppies too.

4. Know what you are getting into before you get a dog. They need lots of attention, walks, playtime, vet care, training, grooming, etc. You know, those claws don't cut themselves. And yes, small dogs need the same things as big dogs.

5. Lastly, if you intend on leaving the dog locked in the house for hours and hours on end every day, while your are out working or knoodling with your pals, then maybe you should think twice about your pet choice. You will need to spend time with your dog. Weird, I know. If you can't commit, then try a cat instead.